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Web Hosting deadpool. 2014 Flatliners edition

Wed, 12th February 2014, 15:46

January’s gone, it’s the dead of winter, and Punxsutawney Phil says there’s another six weeks of this stuff ahead. What better than throw another log on the fire and roast a few of the dearly departed webhosts in another hosting deadpool! These forgotten soldiers just barely crawled into the new year before being brutally snuffed out in 2014. So who’s the first dead of the year? Find out here!

PapaHost (papahost.co.uk)

Are you familiar with HostPapa? Yes? This segment is not about HostPapa, rather these erstwhile hosting minnow trying to capitalize on the name! Brand recognition, baby. It’s great, but apparently not great enough to save PapaHost from its inevitable patricide. Perhaps consumers were not quite as gullible as these parasites imagined. But hey, congratulations to the freeloading flunkies at PapaHost for winning HostJury’s coveted First Dead Doppelganger of the Year Award!

Orange Hosting (orangehosting.ca)

Oh! So close. A Small Orange these guys were not, and if only they’d expired the briefest moment sooner they’d have snagged that previous award! But they didn’t, and close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. The world’s most depressing silver medal goes to Orange Hosting!

Nginx Hosting UK (That's nginx-hosting.co.uk)

How fast is your website? With Nginx Hosting we guarantee that your site will be faster on our servers than your current host or you get your hosting for free...

Critical Error
Could not connect to the database

But they will give you your hosting for free!

Once ranked by a competitor site as the 4th best Nginx hosting solution in the United Kingdom! Shows what they know. Bet they didn’t even call the Super Bowl for the Seahawks, which, by the way, we did.

Midpulse (midpulse.com)

From their service description:

One of MidPulse main strengths and focuses is to provide people and businesses of even of the lowest budgets with possibilities of creating these identities online.

We don’t know what’s funnier: the trainwreck of a sentence you just read or the modesty of naming your service ‘mid’ anything. MidPulse. For when HiPulse is frankly just too expensive. While it’s admirable to focus on people, it rings hollow when your own business is flailing.

Melonmelon.io (melonmelon.co)

Oh man, what a great name for a hosting service... Melonmelon. A French Canadian web hosting provider, we can only hope for a speedy resurrection as Melonmelonmelon.io. Third time may be the charm!

Rackify (rackify.net)

Rackify, having accomplished very little in their hosting career beyond coming up with the world’s most unoriginal name, has finally expired. We’d love to give you more information, but even their WHOIS information was protected.

Note:The whois Privacy Protection is enabled on this domain/no physical contact information on website. When contacted by HostJury, Rackify responded "We believe the contact us form is sufficient for pre-sales contact". 

In fairness, they did have the courtesy to actually respond!
In lieu of any actual information, we’re going to be forced to speculate that they were a front for North Korean money laundering and/or SPECTRE.

 

RiversHosting (rivershosting.com)

According to one forum, RiversHosting is currently in the process of transferring their users to HalfDollarHosting, which is a really encouraging name. Still, we have to give them props for not leaving clients up the creek without a paddle. RiversHosting is doing something other than poofing on their poor clients. Hopefully HalfDollarHosting can hold up their end of the bargain.

MegaCloud (megacloud.com) 

Gee, what is it with all these brand ripoff sites? Serves MegaCloud right- the FBI ended up raiding them because they assumed a connection to that pirating kingpin hack (well at least that’s what is alleged by some Hollywood types and their gobermint allies) Kim Dotcom.
 
Nah, just kidding. They took them out with a drone strike. Thanks, Obama.

 

HostDedi (hostdedi.co.uk)

I’m just going to sit right here and let you make the joke yourself.

MegaByteHosting (domain is for sale)

There’s some chatter about MBH’s closing having to do with the admin’s health issues, which is sad. 

Due to some serious health issues I have to shut down megabytehosting for at least a year. You are advised to get your files backed up immediately. Any clients that are on yearly plans or recently paid will be able to email us for your payment reimbursements.

I am very sad to do this because I put so much effort into MBH. Thanks for your loyalty and when I have recovered I will be back online.

With the nature of small-brand hosting we’re not sure whether to believe that or not. Regardless may he outlive his hosting service by decades and if MegaByte does resurrect, HostJury will be the first to write an article trumpeting the triumph of human spirit over adversity.

Researching a webhost for your baby.. choose wisely and read the reviews before you decide!

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